Archive | August, 2011

Love and Marriage

22 Aug

Well, we forgot our flowers on the kitchen table and a few parking tickets were issued but we remembered the license. The day for me was flashes of being in different places hurrying to get to the next for whatever phase of our marriage mission we were on to. It ended at Justine’s under a hot tent with close friends and family. I do not remember having a real conversation with any of them not because I was drunk but because I was bouncing around, trying to show my appreciation for everyone bearing the August heat. B and I got home around ten, tried to watched a bit of a Gordan Ramsey’s Best Restaurant before deciding to go to bed.

Saturday, was a day of new things. New husband. New breakfast spot. We met with Dad and Grandma to try a new Argentinian restaurant which turned out to be fantastic. Later we checked out a film at the new independant cinema downtown. Then much later, on a whim, we drove up to the newly renovated White Swan. Then on Sunday we lounged. All and all, it was a great weekend.

In the following days I could not stop saying, “I can’t believe we got married.” But we did. It occurs to me every now and then during my day. That this wonderful man agreed, that he wanted to spend his life with me. And the vows we spoke wiped out any doubts I had and for days I felt we were unstoppable. And then….

Something I tell my girlfriends when they have man troubles is that men do not think like we do. Things we find hurtful sometimes do not even make bleep on their radar. Even after we explain the effects of their actions, they seem confused and are dismissive. Although it is infuriating, it is important to work through it if the relationship is worth it. I forget that this also applies to my husband. Even though he is the most amazing man I have ever known, he is still a man.
Life with B is exactly where it needs to be. It took a day and a half of pouting and a dinner to my favorite French restaurant, but life is good and only getting better.


8 Aug

All of last night I stared at B’s face trying to penetrate his mind. I want to know his every thought on what we are doing. He laughs and tells me to stop and that nothing has changed. I tell him that I need reassurance, but really that is not the right word. I need hugs mainly. And to be reminded that all of this anxiety is me playing into wedding pressures of hair and shoes and dresses and ugh. My chest hurt. I bought a pack of cigarettes this weekend. I even smoked a couple.
But when those eyes of his fix on mine or he smiles or touches my leg when we are watching t.v. just to stroke it, all the bullshit falls away.
I finally had to let more people in on what is going on to get the day of off. Some ladies at work organized a last minute happy hour on Friday. Although one of the attorneys spoiled the surprise early in the day, I played along.
It did make me a little uncomfortable walking the halls after realizing an email was sent out to about 100 people announcing news most of my family hadn’t heard yet. At the HH, I got some stockings, a couple of cards and an envelope of money that had been collected. Considering how many employees we have and how much some of them make, it was not a grand sum, but knowing that the people who were there or bothered to put a little something into that envelope did it because they sincerely wanted to contribute, made the little package worth more than any other gift I’ve recieved in some time. And it did not go wasted. It was almost enough to completely cover the cost of the dress I will be wearing. The people who were able to make it did so out of love and not obligation. And that is what meant the most to me.

Although I feel like crap because I did not sleep well, I am beaming inside even if half of the office probably thinks I am pregnant.

Count Down

5 Aug

Last Friday we made it to the county clerks office to get our marriage license. A photo id and $71 later and done. We’ve got 30 days to get hitched.
We decided on Friday August 12th, which is, in case you don’t have a calendar in front of you or don’t have a ‘real job’ is next Friday.
I finally get to start telling people soon. The reception invites went out yesterday and apparently people have already started getting them. I am so many things right now. Giddy, excited to say the least, curious at what our friends are going to say, bursting….SO bursting. It has been a hard secret to keep so I am also a little relieved.
We’ve still got a handful of things to do but with the reasonable time line we’ve set for ourselves, jaja, we will get through it with little stress and the proper urgency.
Or at least that is the plan.

Fotos y Recuerdos

4 Aug

Looking for inspiration for a graphics project B was working on, I came across this photo.

Circa 1995

Mom's kitchen

Young Love

And another of young us.

Truthfully, my mom probably remembers more about us dating back then than either of us do, but I do remember the letters he sent me and how they made me feel. I saved them. They are tied together with a blue ribbon, tucked away in a steamer trunk. Some of the envelopes he made from magazine pages. I thought I was so lucky to have such a cute artsy boyfriend,(finally). We were both such shits back then though. Too cool for so many things.